If you are a spouse to someone who's been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder you don't really have much choice on whether or not you choose to support your loved one, but you are able to choose how much time you are able to give. For those of you who are "luckier" to not live with one of us, your choices are greater. Do you offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, prayer support, help around the house, a driver for therapy, etc. The list can be endless. But most important for those supporters is that you remember to take care of yourself first. If you are not up to par, you aren't going to be much help to the DIDer in your life who will unconsciously drag you down emotionally, physically, and spiritually because of the garbage they have to deal with on an every day basis. We don't get a break from the depression, the despair, the horrible memories, the thoughts that continually tell us to just give in and throw in the towel. If you can't be there 100%, don't volunteer. Tell the person this is the case; they will understand that you need a break too. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day for you. You can ask your DIDer to write down what they are feeling or going through and when you are in a better place the two of you can discuss it at that time. Boundries are very important for both of your's relationship.